somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
