Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
MIDGETS
????
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
