Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
