This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
