belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
