Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
