I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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