Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
