Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
