i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
