i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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