The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
