I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize