that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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