I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
