butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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