Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
