I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
