Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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