The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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