I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
