I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
