he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I didn't notice because vodka
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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