I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
