Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
