You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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