My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
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he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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