Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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