i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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