I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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