that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
