god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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