a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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