i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
