i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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