We won't sleep together?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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