i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
