Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
