is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
