She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
