i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
