I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
