Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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