He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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