no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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