He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
