Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels

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(+32): View more from Belgium

Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

sounds like you fell off the wagon.

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.

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(914): View more from New York

2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.

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(+88): View more from

I swear the crows are laughing at me.

(1+88): View more from

You my friend are stoned into submission

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(919): View more from North Carolina

My legs feel like baby dolphins

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.

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