I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
