Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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