I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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