you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
