How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize