If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
