still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
