So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
