Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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