Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
