More tranny stories later!
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize