your parents love me but you hate me
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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