After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
