After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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