we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
