in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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