"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
