Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
