Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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