Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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