Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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